My Story

ITS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY.
YOU CAN BE HELPED IT CAN GET BETTER!

November 2, 2016. I woke up at 5:00 in the morning to see a Facebook message from an old friend. The message read,

“Hey Mitch,I'm not sure if you know yet, but Tor suicided on Sunday and was in hospital in a critical condition due to the swelling on his brain. He passed away last night in hospital. Just thought you deserved to know if you hadn't been told already 😕. “

Tor was one of my oldest and best friends. I began crying uncontrollably for hours, crying myself to sleep, crying in my sleep and waking up crying. I don't really remember much of that day or even the days following. I found myself stuck between following through with my year in America or coming home. As many of you know I decided to stay.

The days and weeks following his suicide I felt empty. I began to feel angry at him and myself. I was angry at him for believing that this was his only option. Angry at him for leaving like this.

Angry at myself for not knowing he was in pain, angry at myself because maybe, just maybe, if I messaged him the night before he would still be here, angry at the thought that I might have been able to do something. Tor was a person who went out of his way to put a smile on everyone's faces. It seemed to be his unspoken mission to make everyone as happy as he could.

He had an infectious smile and for him to leave so abruptly really makes my heart hurt. To know that he felt this was the only way out makes me so so sad.

If you are in pain you need to know that you are not alone; you are loved and if you were no longer here, you would be deeply missed by many. Please do not let a temporary emotion dictate a permanent action. Things can get better, things will get better … reach out … find help. Silence is not an option … I know it’s sometimes unbelievably hard but don’t be silent. Remember, you don’t want to die you just want the pain to stop. Never forget that there is always help available to help the pain stop.

I don’t want anyone’s sympathy I simply want to encourage others to speak up!

Seeking help is extremely hard sometimes but it is worth it. We need to become more comfortable as a society talking about how we are feeling!

I love you Mtho
I miss you Tor
Bye brother.

This is part of my Story.
What’s Yours ?
Love Mitch.

Speak Up
Speak Out
Stand Up
Stand Strong
Stand Together.